Relationships
Ask yourself this
Holiday Romance
What you've said...
With long distance relationships you can never no what the other one is doing so Josh you will never know what Kate is doing (i.e with other lads). So i dont think it would work. Have you told Kate how you feel?
I reckon thar you should ask her to go for a walk or something like, so you can be alone then from there explain that you still have feeling for her and want to know how she feels. if not, walk away but still be mates, but if she says she does still like you then ask her out to the cinema, or like i said something similar. hope it all works out for you =o)
You should talk to her about how you feel and what you want from the relationship and see if she wants what you want out of the relationship. If Kate has got somebody else, just try to move on which is going to take time.
Adviser feedback...
Hi Josh
It's good to hear from you, thanks for getting in touch with Connexion Direct. I am sorry to hear that you are having a rough time at the moment. Relationships can be really tough and our feelings and emotions can be so strong that it can make the situation seem like it's never going to get better.
You obviously had a great time on holiday and getting to know Kate when you got back home. It is difficult when one of the people in a relationship changes the situation that they are in. Sometimes that person does just need time to get used to the changes and for a little while they feel like they need to throw themselves into their new life because everything is so unfamiliar. However unfortunately it might be that Kate has become so involved in her new life that she is ready to move on from your relationship.
Although you have tried to ask what the problem is and not gotten anywhere, it is completely fair for you to want to know where you stand, even if the answer may be hard to take. Can you try talking to Kate again? Ask if she wants to be in your relationship any more. Ask her to be honest and explain that you know something has changed and would prefer to sort things out one way or the other rather than feel pushed away all the time. If you think it would be hard to talk, why not write down your thoughts and feelings so that you can get everything down how you want to say it.
Having a relationship end can be really tough, but like I said before the painful feelings won't last forever. It is important to find lots of support for yourself, go out with friends, do some of your favourite hobbies or spend time with your family. It might be good to pick one or two close people to talk to about your feelings with. You don't have to talk constantly about the situation, but it is best not to bottle up all of your feelings. If you need someone to chat to Connexions Direct advisors are always here on 080 800 13 2 19 from 8am-2am every day. Or you can contact us on web chat at www.connexions-direct.co.uk.
You could also take a look at the website below. It has some great thoughts on what happens next
www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/onelife/personal/relationships/splitting2.shtml
Getting over someone will happen gradually, you may not even notice that you are thinking about them less and it is not hurting as much. However by not getting stuck in the past and trying to move on you will come out of the other end and feel stronger for it.
I hope this helps and that things start to get better soon.
Josh's story
They met a couple of English girls who were slightly older and staying in the apartment block next to theirs. They hung around together all holiday and Josh got on really well with one of the girls, called Kate.
They promised to stay in touch when they got back to England as Kate only lived 10 miles away from Josh.
Things were going really well. They were on the phone all the time and sent each other texts and emails. Josh's parents invited Kate to stay for the weekend and Kate got to meet and go out with all Josh's mates. The calls continued and Josh went across to stay with Kate's family and met the rest of her mates.
Then things started to change - there were fewer calls and emails and Kate took ages to reply to text messages. Josh has tried to talk to Kate about it but she says nothing is wrong. Kate has just started college and says she is really busy getting to grips with all the coursework and the reading she needs to do.
Josh is still keen but is worried that Kate has gone off him or that she might think he is too young now she is mixing with college students. His mates, particularly Jake have told him to forget about it.
